Great Wolf Fun

Jessica, Satchel and I were in serious need of a vacation, so we took a short trip to Great Wolf Lodge on Thursday and Friday. For those who don't know what Great Wolf Lodge is, it's this huge resort built around a giant water park. The one here is in Grand Mound, which is about 20 miles south of Olympia right next to Centralia (there's a bunch of Great Wolf Lodges around the U.S.). It's expensive, but well worth it. We had a great time. We arrived Thursday afternoon, spent the night and left Friday evening. One of the good things about Great Wolf is, even though you can't check in until 4, you can start using the park at 1, and then even though you check out at 11, you can use the park until 9. Pretty good deal.
There's a lot more than just the water park, with a spa, an arcade, some kind of weird Dungeons and Dragons magic game, a lot of restaurants and an animatronic show throughout the day. So here's some thoughts/experiences from our trip:

• We left the house around 12:30, a little later than I wanted to but not bad. We made a stop for coffee and bagels, and a stop for gas, but otherwise were on our way. We'd been looking forward to this day for awhile so were excited.
• We shockingly didn't listen to any Beatles on the ride, nor did Satchel request any, which was just as shocking. Jessica told a great story about a lost little boy and a magic mouse that she made up. I really encourage her to write it, I think it's great.
• We arrived at about 2:30 to a packed parking lot, which gave Jessica some major hesitation (she's not the most patient person). I was surprised it was so busy on a Thursday in February. We went inside, and it's surprisingly dark, I guess to maintain a "lodge" feel. There's a lot of wood and animal statues around, pretty nice, but what you notice most are the kids. They are everywhere. The line was quite long to check in but moved pretty quick. Jess waited in line while Satchel and I walked around.
• We came upon this giant tree/clock tower thing in the middle of the lobby where they have the animatronic show and story time. At first Satch was afraid of the tree, which is kind of creepy (it has arms and eyes and all that) but he was OK after a minute. This is also where I get my first glimpse of Simon, this creepy animatronic kid with blonde hair hiding out in a fake tree trunk. He's one of the stars of the show and looks bizarre.
• We wander more and Satchel notices that a lot of the kids are running around with magic wands. They have this game where you can get these wands for $30 (and of course accesorize them with more crap for more money) and you can wander the resort (and I mean it's spread out everywhere, you could waste all day wandering around playing this game) like unlocking treasure chests, activating talking pictures, etc., etc. in search of some kind of quest to slay a dragon or something. It was nuts, so many kids (and some adults) were doing this thing. Satchel mentions several times that he wants a wand. I answer several times, "We'll see." After briefly discussing it, Jess and I decide to pass on the wand. Satch handles it well, surprisingly. It would be cool if it wasn't $30.
• We wander down a hall and see there's a Nestle convention going on. I briefly consider putting on one of the unclaimed nametags and trying to get some free stuff. But I couldn't figure out a good way to explain having Satchel with me, or that none of them knew who I was.
• Jess checks in finally and rejoins us. The animatronic show starts so we watch. The story is that Simon is lost and scared in the woods and the animals, including a moose, a racoon, an owl and a couple of squirrels, along with our Native American hero Yellow Feather, tell him "There's nothing to be scared of." In fact, they sing "There's nothing to be scared of" over and over, and it's clearly a ripoff of the Lion King's "Circle of Life." So now I've got "There's nothing to be scared of!" going through my head constantly. Besides watching Simon be creepy, the best part of the show is that one of the two squirrels, who are in a little hole in a tree (one in each tree) is broken, so all you can see is the top of his head and it looks like he's struggling so hard to get up and sing, but he can't quite make it.
• We had up to our room to see if we can get in (we can!). They give you these bracelets to wear and they do everything. They get you into the water park. You can charge anything to your account just by tapping the bar code. And they're your room key. It's pretty cool, though Satchel hates wearing them. We're on the fifth floor and it's a nice room. Nothing fancy, just two beds, a couch, refrigerator, which was nice, microwave, bathroom. They have much more elaborate rooms for a lot more money (this one was expensive enough) with like caves for kids to sleep in, bunk beds, etc. But the way I see it, I'm on vacation to do things, not spend time in my room, so as long as it has a bed and bathroom, I'm happy. I'm not spending more to feel like I'm sleeping in a cave.
• Each floor has a theme. Ours was the Twisted Woods. That pretty much just means there's weird looking trees painted on the walls.
• Satchel is most excited over the TV in the room "just like the one we have at home!" Jess is most excited by this safe in the room to store our valuables "I want one of these!" I'm most excited that there's two beds.
• I went down to the car to haul all of our stuff up. Amazing, especially when you have a kid, how much crap you take with you even when you're only going for a night. When I get back to the room, Satchel is under the covers watching the Cat in the Hat. I know we're not spending our time here watching TV.
• We get dressed in our swimming gear and head to the water park. You enter on the second floor, where the spa, the ice cream store, the arcade and a few other things are. As soon as you walk through the doors of the water park, you get punched in the head by humidity. It's like 85 degrees, but it's not uncomfortable after the initial shock.
• You walk up to a lifeguard, who measures kids to see what rides they can go on, and gives them a color-coded bracelet so that it's easy to see what they can go on. Satchel did not like having to wear a second bracelet. The lifeguard mentions that the Activity Pool is closed because of an "accident." Jess asks "What kind of accident?" The lifeguard searches for the right words. Jess helps her by saying, "Poop?" The lifeguard hesitantly answers yes. Nice.
• The water park has a number of different areas. There's a wave pool with like 3-foot high waves that goes out to about 5 1/2 feet (starts at zero height entry). It was my favorite part. There's the ill-fated Activity Pool, which has like floating beavers and basketball hoops and a lilly pad thing to climb across. It's probably around 5 1/2 feet too. There's a kids pool area with a bunch of little toys to climb on and spray, a couple of smaller water slides, that's shallow, only up to Sachel's waist or so. There's a big fort-type deal for bigger kids and adults (though Satch could have gone on it if he wanted, but he didn't). It's highlighted by this enormous bucket on the roof that drops about 10,000 gallons of water every five minutes, causing screams and squeals every time. We got nailed by it once. There's also a big water slide on the fort that Satch couldn't have gone on. There's a small hot tub that you have to be at least 8 to use. And there's a big inner tube slide (actually two slides) that starts very high up (they have a cool machine that moves inner tubes back up to the top). Satchel couldn't do that one, and we never did it, though it looked pretty fun.
• Our first stop was the wave pool. It's only been in the last four months or so that Satch has really gotten comfortable in the water and is OK with getting splashed in the face. That's good, because you're constantly getting splashed. The waves really move you around. They go for about 5 minutes, then stop for a few minutes, and then there's like a howl warning sound and they start again. It was a really fun pool, my favorite part. We went deep first and then hung out shallow where Satchel could stand and jump the waves and get nailed by them.
• A word about the lifeguards. There's about a million of them, and they are on top of it. I'm used to taking Satch to the Mountlake Terrace pool where the lifeguards look miserable. But at Great Wolf, they do not stop, they are on constant lookout, it's pretty impressive. We learned later that they are kept on their toes by having a doll periodically thrown into the water and then supervisors see how long it takes for it to get noticed. The one time we saw it happen, the lifeguard was all over it. You can tell that they are under constant supervision because they do not fool around, which is good.
• We walked toward the fort, and that's when we got nailed by the big water drop. It was pretty hard, but didn't hurt or anything, was just a big dump on your head (which sounds kinda gross). The rest of the fort just has spraying things, etc. (at least, around the perimeter. We didn't go into the fort).
• We went to the kiddie pool. Satchel went down one of the slides by himself, his first water slide, but he got a bunch of water in his mouth at the bottom because he forgets to close his mouth. When we asked how it went, he said, "Not so very good." He went down the other slides with us and it went better. There's a bunch of little boats with water cannons which is pretty fun. It was nice for Satchel because he could walk around, not worry much about getting run over by bigger kids and could climb up on things by himself.
• We walked over to the Activity Pool. It was both sad and disturbing seeing it empty and knowing why.
• We went back to the wave pool and were in it for a long time, mostly in the shallow end. It was a lot tougher being in the shallow end for me, having to sit and being constantly pushed around by the waves. Tough on my back, but worth it watching Satchel, who did great. They also have a big water fall umbrella thing that we went under.
• We notice there's a shadowy figure up in the window overlooking the water park. I think it's either the spirit of the Great Wolf, or Ned Johansson, assistant pool manager. One minute he's there, the next he's vanished. Jess also notices a man who she points out has enormous breasts. He never turned around for me to take a look.
• We head back up to our room to change our clothes (there are changing rooms at the water park too, along with several food stands and an apparel store). We then drive to Centralia for dinner at a Mexican place called Casa Ramos, which is clearly a former Azteca. How clearly? They use Azteca menus, napkins, etc. I mean, it says Azteca on them. Whatever, the food was good.
• Driving back to the resort, we see the moon and it is huge and full (that's what she said) and really amazing.
• Satchel puts on his Buzz Lightyear pajamens in anticipation of story time and we head out to check out the arcade. It's a cool arcade, nothing amazing. It's like Chuck E Cheese in that it gives out tickets for winning games. The coolest thing is Satchel's pajamas glow in the light. We play some Ski Ball, some other games. Satchel rides this little ice cream truck and is immediately surrounded by a bunch of middle eastern kids, just like you see on TV. It was like they came out of nowhere.
• We got to the ice cream shop, which smells delicious, and Satchel gets a chocolate ice cream cone. They're a little more expensive than a Baskin Robbins but not outrageous. They have a lot of different kinds of desserts, all of which looked good, none of which I got.
• We go down to the clock tower thing where the story time is and it's already filling up with kids in PJs. We get a good spot on the floor in front but pretty soon are totall surrounded by people. We sit through the same "There's nothing to be scared of" show. Then comes story time, where two people dressed as wolf cubs, Willy and Violet, are accompanied by a Pack Member (that's what the call the employees). Satchel wants nothing to do with Willy and Violet, so story time ends for us before it even starts.
• We got back up to our room and play hide and seek, which you can only play so much of in a hotel room. We also play Jenga and Ants in Your Pants. Good fun. We go to sleep about 9:45, earlier than I've been to sleep in a long, long time.
• I sleep terribly. The bed is just too soft and uncomfortable. I wake up at 6 with a sore back. I lie there until it's light enough to read. Jess and Satch wake up about 9:30 and both slept great.
• You do not go to Great Wolf Lodge to relax. There are just too many kids. It was before 8 that I heard them running up and down the hallway, yelling, etc. Didn't bother me, because I knew where I was staying, but if you're hoping to sleep in too late, it's going to be tough.
• After packing up, I took our stuff down to the car and meet Satchel and Jessica at the buffet, the only time we eat at the hotel. It was fairly mediocre, especially for vegetarians. But mediocre or not, I ate a lot. Waffels, a bunch of different kind of potatoes, bread, fruit. And kids are free if younger than 4, which Satch is for another few months, so that was good.
• The waitress tells us that the busiest times are Thanksgiving, New Year's and Spring Break. The slowest time is May.
• After eating, we go to the gift shop because we've told Satchel he can pick something out. Of course, he wants the first thing he sees. But eventually, we walk away with a wolf on a stick that bites when you pull a lever, and a Great Wolf Lodge toy semi truck. But he's in there forever.
• We then go back to the water park. We spend more time in the wave pool and the kiddie area. The activity pool is open, so we go in there and it's OK, Satch has fun sliding off of the floating toys and shooting some baskets. After a couple hours, we're sitting near the kiddie pool when they have to clear it out for another "accident." I feel bad for the lifeguard wearing rubber gloves and patrolling the water with a net. Around that time, Satch decides he's had enough of the water park. I would have liked to stay longer but he's the boss.
• Oh, I forgot. First we went back to the arcade to use up our remaining tokens. We win enough that Satch can get a couple of other toy cars.
• He also wants to use the photo booth, but wants the picture to be of just himself so we wait outside while he poses behind the curtain. They come out well. It costs $3.
• After the pool, we head back over to the dessert shop for another chocoate ice cream. Satchel is very disappointed he hasn't found a girlfriend, but the ice cream makes him forget it. Two women excitedly see the Scoop Spa, geared toward little girls (and only little girls, which is total BS). It's the kind of place that makes me a little nauseous, in a Toddlers and Tiaras kind of way, and I'm so thankful that I married a woman who also thinks it's ridiculous. They also have a Teen room with video games, music, TV, etc. I tell you one thing, if I'm paying for my kid to come to Great Wolf Lodge, he ain't spending his time in a dark room playing video games that he can do just as well at home. Absurdly, two of the channels were tuned to MSNBC and Fox News.
• Our trip is coming to an end, but not before I notice two things: One, a man dressed like Robin Hood, who I think is an employee but I'm not totally sure; and a couple, both large, the man kind of scary looking, walking around with magic wands and a guide book trying to slay the dragon, and being very serious about it. These aren't the only adults I see taking this game very seriously. Jess warns me not to take a picture of them for fear of me being beat up, but I can't help myself.
• Satch spends more time in the gift shop before we somehow coax him out of there. We exit Great Wolf Lodge, take a few last pictures outside and are on our way. But not before stopping in the nutrituous Taco Bell drive-thru for dinner.

So, if you've read this far, hopefully I conveyed that it's a busy, fun place to visit. Our only regret was that we didn't spend more time there. Next time we'll go for at least two nights. It's costly but worth it and should be even more fun as Satchel gets older. Let me know if you have any thoughts, opinions if you've visited, or questions.